Thoughts About the Funeral

Anyone who visited the viewing and funeral will agree that Mark was a very loved guy. Usually when a person passes away everyone thinks about the positive and shares positive memories but with Mark that is all he was. While standing talking to people at the viewing and the funeral everyone told me about how they had just seen Mark and how he had helped them or took the time to talk to them. He was always interested in other people and usually had a person laughing within seconds of meeting them.

People started coming to the viewing 20 minutes early. It was at a church so we were prepared with a lot of space for waiting but I don't think anyone was prepared for what happened next. The family and Mark were waiting in the relief society room the line formed and wound through the halls of the church then through the chapel and eventually started to form outside. When it began to wind around the building outside a few of us became worried. It was hot and people were standing for hours. The Bishopric pulled everyone in from outside and had them sit in the chapel but soon the chapel filled and the line still went outside around the building. We figured that there were about 2000 people that came through.

Throughout the halls we had tables set up with things that people had said about Mark and pictures of the family. I noticed lots of people reading them. There were lots of tears and broken hearts that came through that church. Lynn, Mark's wife, smiled and hugged and cried with the people that came through.

There was peace there.

The viewing once again started early before the funeral the next day. People lined the halls to say one final farewell to a dear friend and loved one.

His family went into the room for one final good bye. The hardest part of any funeral for the family is the closing of the casket. His little family cried and hugged each other and their father. One of them had put a small ceramic lighthouse in his hand probably symbolic of something for the family. Amid sobs and sniffs and after the family prayer they closed the casket and began to push the casket out to the chapel while hundreds waited. Marks youngest 11 year old son wanted to help push the casket so he was the first out followed by Mark's wife and kids and family.

The funeral began with "Families can be together forever" and a prayer by Lynn's brother, Marks brother-in-law from Texas and then was opened by the bishop. Mark's 14 year old son shared Mark's life sketch. The first speaker was Sam, Mark's brother, who shared some great information on the atonement. He also talked about some memories he had of Mark. Sam had taken our Volkswagen bus for a spin in the field and had ran it to the ditch. He ran to Mark knowing that his big brother was strong enough to pull the van out of the ditch.

He also shared a story about when Mark wanted to tease his roommate so he took two pies to the cute girls that lived downstairs. He told them one was for them if they brought the other one up to him at a certain time when his roommate was home. They delivered the pies as planned and asked for Mark at the door. His roommate's jaw dropped open. Mark did it again the next day, and again the pies were delivered. Another funny part about this story is that the girls came back the third night to Mark's surprise with a pie that they had baked.

Although I don't remember the order exactly One of Marks daughters shared her fathers day talk. She talked about how Mark was not her real father but she met him when she was 5-6. Her mom had been a single mother for a while. Mark was different right away. When he would bring her mom flowers he would also bring one each for the girls. They would get to go on the dates with him and their mom and when they didn't he would pay for the babysitter. When Mark asked her mom to marry her this daughter got mad at her mom because she didn't say yes right away. Later when the two older daughters were married they highered a lawyer and adopted their own Dad. He cried and said he always felt like they were his anyway. The judge and the court proceeding thanked Mark. He said he sat day after day in that court room watching men trying to get out of the responsibility of supporting their children, it was nice to see someone fight so hard to to take on that responsibility. This daughter shared the country song "I hope I am half the dad that he didn't have to be."

Some grandchildren sang a beautiful song. Then another daughter shared a poem written by Mark for his wife on their 8 year anniversary. After his two remaining daughters shared some fun stories and jokes that their dad would share. They talked about how his new years resolution was to touch a life and then they had everyone stand up who had been influenced by Mark. The whole congregation rose. Nearly 1000 people stood with tears in their eyes. At that point I felt chills and amazement.

By the end we had all laughed and cried and felt inspired to change our lives.

For me personally as his little sister, I knew that I wasn't where I am supposed to be in life. Mark had lead an example of how to follow the example of the savior.

We closed with "God be with you till we meet again." and we left to go to the cemetery. Jared, my husband, dedicated the grave. We all placed flowers on the casket and said our last good byes. One daughter reached over the casket to give a camera to a cousin. The camera fell under the casket and went down into the cement box far below. There was a moment of shock and then chuckles as those who had seen what happened tried to figure out how to get it out. the casket was moved slightly to the side and Mark's 11 year olf son was lowered by the ankles to retrieve the camera. He stood up,brushed himself off and said "Well I have had enough excitement for one funeral." A perfect ending to Mark's fun, loving life and funeral.

Among all this I remembered standing in the mortuary. It was the first time we had all been together as a family since Mark's passing. We surrounded his body as he lay in his burial clothes. We all cried and looked down at him. I looked up. In my minds eye I could see my Dad and Mark standing there with us. My dad's hand on Marks shoulder saying "It's ok Mark, this is a process they will have to go through." This is hard. We loved him very much. He made us laugh, he made us better. I know there is a great plan that is bigger than this existence. That there is a purpose. At first I found no peace in this, but now my heart and soul have found strength and joy in my brother. I can go forward knowing that I can be better and do better. I can count knowing Mark as one of the miraculous blessings and tender mercies that the good Lord has given me in my life. Christ lives and so will we all once again.